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Nosemonkey's EUtopia

In search of a European identity

A quick bleg for work

The perils of being a freelance writer/editor/sub in the current economic climate have finally started to hit home, and as from May I’m set to be about £1.5k a month down on my current earnings – not a nice situation for anyone, I’m sure you’ll agree.

As such, I’m actively on the lookout for new gigs: Writing, editing, sub-editing, in print or online, on pretty much any subject-matter – I have worked professionally on everything from book reviews for the academically-inclined Times Literary Supplement to write-ups of Big Brother, with a strong background in film and travel, and specialise in structural editing, fast but accurate subbing* and translating content from print to the web.

I have a good ten years’ professional experience across print and the web, ranging from large-circulation glossy consumer magazines through ISP portals with several million visits a day, and am competent in Photoshop, Quark, InDesign, and across a range of content management systems.

Companies worked for include AOL UK, Archant, BBC Worldwide, Gibson Square Books, Haymarket, the House of Commons, the Law Society, News International, openDemocracy, Pageant Media, Publicis-Blueprint, Virgin Publishing and Visual Imagination.

Publications my work has appeared in include The Belfast Telegraph, The Big Issue, Britain magazine, The Camden New Journal, The Dublin Informer, The Ham & High, The English Garden, Heritage, Heritage Cities Planner, The Irish News, London Planner, The Manchester Evening News, The Metro, Pink News, The Press Gazette, Realm, The South London Press, Starburst, The Sunday Telegraph, Wales on Sunday, The Western Daily Press, and The Yorkshire Post.

A basic CV can be found here for those that may be interested, and references can be sourced on request.

If anyone has anything coming up that I may be able to help out on, please do get in touch via nosemonkey [@] gmail.com or info [@] jcm.org.uk – I can offer competitive rates, and all offers will be gratefully considered. (I also have a tendency to be far too honest and am a bit of a perfectionist, so I won’t take anything on if I don’t think I can do a good job.)

Bleg ends. Normal service (or lack thereof) will resume shortly…

* Note: My professional subbing/editing skills may not be too apparent on this blog, as most posts are first drafts. I’m not getting paid for it, you see…


  1. Welcome to the club Nosemonkey, of people who are in a worse situation today than they were yesterday.
    Why dont you write an article for the Daily Mail – “Why Britain is Unsuited To This EU project ” ?
    Or for the Telegraph – “If the EU Wants Us To Love It We Need More Than Glittering Generalities . ?
    Or for the Independent _ “The EU is Great, People Who Lose Their Jobs Because Of It Are Insignificant “?

  2. J Clive,

    I am now as impressed by your record as I have been avid as a reader of your reasoning blog. Irrespective of the economic climate, there must be potential clients out there who need your skills in order to communicate better, when they need it more than ever.

    I wish you the best in your quest, and I hope that the smartest are quick enough to beat a path to your e-mail address in order to secure your services.

  3. Come on, Robin – don’t be like that!

    And if any prospective clients are reading this:

    I’ve been reading J Clive’s blog for a couple of weeks now, and he’s got me hooked. An excellent writer able to communicate clearly with his audience. Sign him up at once so he can stop looking for work and keep blogging!

  4. Joe,

    He is in no different position to any other of us who are self employed and freelance, so I actually do sympathise with him, and I dont think it`s a detail. And my suggestions have a ring of truth and serious suggestion about them. He probably knows better about the media, but they do print unsolicited material.

  5. I’ve done a qick google and haven’t found a book entitled the Idiots Guide to the EU. It could be a big project, perhaps you might have to go hungry for a few months while you research it but it would be worth it. Judging by the amount of politicians who haven’t read the Lisbon Treaty you could be on a winner in parliaments all over Europe if you had a chapter on it.

    If that doesn’t tickle your fancy, you could do a book profiling the Commission and all the MEP’s. You could call it a Guide to European Idiots. Or, Con Men ‘R’ Us.

  6. There are approximately 2 million people in Britain who are experiencing this position of unemployment. I suspect that the true figures are hidden but I do know that a large number of them will be tradesmen such as myself. The imposition of the EU’s migrant workforce is doing nothing for my colleagues in Britain.

    I do have some sympathy for J Clive but, alas, there are a whole lot of others in the same situation. J Clive’s chosen career is a highly competitive one and the ‘dead tree’ world of papers and magazines seems to be dying a death at present.

    It is going to become worse. The powers-that-be in the UK have realized that we will soon have 300,000 graduates leaving university in the next year only to find that there may be no jobs for them. This downturn is pretty indiscriminate in its choice of victim; manual worker or university graduate are all going to suffer.

    The one thing that we don’t need is more regulation and red tape, especially from the EU.

  7. Don’t propagandists such as you get showered in my money by the Commission?

  8. One issue Nosemonkey or J Clive does not have to contend with is hundreds of thousands of foreign workers infesting his trade, unlike most of us. Also .as his trade is not international in the real sense of the word, his type can dismiss the fears of those of us who were competing in international markets but had the dice loaded against us.
    Nosemonkey, are you going to go in the fields and pick the crops ?

  9. Robin (April 23rd @ 7:50) – my decline in work has, I can say with absolute certainty, nothing whatsoever to do with the EU. (April 26th @ 6:20) actually, the outsourcing of online editorial work to India (among other places) is one of the major reasons for the upsurge in unemployed web editors in recent years. At the same time, various media firms are ditching their sub-editors, meaning that increasingly content is being edited by people who do not have English as their first language, or a British/European cultural background (meaning they miss various references – especially in football reporting), and no one with English as a first language is there to check their work. The decline of the media continues.

    As for the freelance writing market, I’m competing against journalists from all over the Angloshphere, as well as a fair few bi/trilingual Europeans. Due to the latter group, when it comes to competing for paid work about the EU I’m at a major disadvantage – added to by the fact that I’m not based in Brussels.

    WG – I’m not actually unemployed, just less employed than I was. Not sure that the current rise in unemployment can be put down to EU workers to any great degree. I was rather under the impression that the dire exchange rate that’s arisen in recent months has led to a steady stream of non-UK EU citizens heading back across the Channel to get paid in the far stronger euro rather than sterling? (See, for example, the Daily Express – hardly the most pro-EU of publications, I think you’ll agree: http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/42924/EU-immigrants-leaving-UK-)

    EUWhore – So I understand: http://euro-med.dk/?p=8176 – I think their regular cheques for my services must have repeatedly got lost in the post, because I’ve sadly never received a penny from the Commission. (When I worked there – at the age of 17 – it was as unpaid work experience. The experience turned me fervently anti-EU – I only changed my opinion rather later, around my final year of university.)

    William – I have pondered such a book before. The only trouble is, I doubt it’d make any money, would be an absolute bugger to research properly, and should have already been written in readiness for the upcoming elections. Still, could be worth a pop for the NEXT lot of EU elections, I suppose. They may even have sorted out what they’re doing with the Lisbon Treaty by then, with any luck…

    Josef / Ralph – Aren’t you sweet? Ta!

  10. I didn`t think the EU had affected your rate of work commitments Nosemonkey. Wrong sort of job/trade for that.It affects ours though, hence even more hostility to the project.
    There are also newspaper reports that many of the recent migrants are not going home, but sitting it out on benefits.Another minus point.
    Why dont you write a book – The Great Conception – about the forming of the EU and why you were against it but are now for it ?

  11. The book would more accurately be why I was against it a bit, then strongly against it, then strongly for it, then only for it a bit, and now struggling to find any enthusiasm for it whatsoever (but still thinking it’s a nice idea in principle).

    Still doubt anyone would buy it, though. Hell, my first book was on a fairly popular film director, and it took five years for me to see any royalties…

  12. I want to congratulate Robin, wg and EUWhore for there clear appreciation of good manners. It is obvious that now upstanding Englishman fighting against the EUSSR can let a thread of somebody looking for a job go by without making cheap shots.

  13. Nosemonkey,

    Why did you dislike the project but now are a EUrophile ?


    Noemonkey said he was suffering a downturn and sympathy was given by his opposition who have suffered harder and longer.Suggetions were also made which may lead Nosemonkey to develop his own ideas, like brainstorming.
    What input have you given ?