Oh yes… Switzerland… Neutral, aren’t they? Never did anyone any harm, did they? The worst Switzerland’s ever got up to is hoarding Nazi gold (and they probably only did that because they were too polite to say “sorry Adolf, old chum, we reckon that’s a bit off”). Nice little iddy-biddy country in the heart of Europe, minding its own business. Safe to ignore the buggers, isn’t it?
All anyone ever thinks about Switzerland was pretty much succinctly summed up by Orson Welles’ Harry Lime in The Third Man:
“in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
Well, it looks like they’ve finally twigged and realised where they went wrong: so have invaded Liechtenstein.
Those Swiss devils! Curse them – I for one will not stand idly by and watch the mighty Liechtenstein be so cruelly abused by the mountain folk to the west – it’s time to follow in the great tradition of the anti-fascist volunteers of the Spanish Civil War like Hemmingway and Orwell and head over there to do our bit for the brave Liechtensteinese. We will fight them on the ski slopes, we will fight them on the beaches of Lake Geneva – we shall never surrender!
Zurich or bust! Who’s with me?